I’ve heard all those clever quotes you’ve come up with about the ups and downs in life. Especially the one that goes “Life is a roller coaster, but it’s your choice whether to scream or enjoy the life.” Oh my gawd, I am sick of hearing that one being pushed around like an application in the Govt office! You see, I don’t quite get what you mean when you say that you should “smile through your downs” as if I’m auditioning for the role of a heroine in one of those horrendous Hindi serials. Whatever happened to fighting your way through your downs and just doing what you think you should do?
I speak about this now as I am facing some very trying times myself. Being somebody who has had a pretty comfortable life with no remarkable sorrows or tensions, this particular phase that I’m facing in my professional life has begun to put a permanent frown on my head. I reach home everyday, tensed, frustrated and pissed off. Add to it the fact that I have this big ego which screams at me for not making everyone like me enough and bam…I have a splitting headache. Everyday. Needless to say, trying times indeed.
So there I was, walking around with a smile on my face and moping around when no one is looking until one day – I finally had enough. Enough of being the prim and proper, always politically correct professional. I decided that it was time that I stopped doing things just to please others and do things because it felt right. Of course, I’m talking in a professional context now – personally, that’s how I’ve been since I’ve realized that doing what you love is cool. So well, I started communicating – actually communicating, i.e. – in exceedingly civil and polite snippets of honesty and there…I could almost feel a growing bulb of peacefulness within me. My problems are by no means solved, nor am I sure that people think the sun shines out of my arse, for that matter *excuse me for the language mom*, and yet I feel so terribly…liberated. Is that the right term? Yeah, I think so. Self-liberation, the first step towards sanity, I would say.